A Note from Mrs. Hines
Your Child and Their Feelings
During upcoming guidance classes, students will be learning about their feelings and how to cope with them. The students learn that their feelings belong to them, whatever they may be: happy and excited, or frustrated and angry. They learn that they have a right to their own feelings, and also have a responsibility to handle those feelings in appropriate ways.
As parents, it can be difficult to know how to help our children handle these emotions in positive ways. Here are several strategies you can use, from “What Kid’s Say About: Handling Stress”, an article on www.KidsHealth.org:
Notice out loud. Tell your child when you notice something he or she might be feeling. (“It seems like you still feel mad about what happened at the playground”).
Listen to your child. Ask your child to tell you what’s wrong. Listen attentively and calmly—with interest, patience, openness, and caring. Avoid any urge to judge, blame, lecture, or tell your child what he or she should have done instead.
Comment briefly on the feelings you think your child was experiencing as you listen to the story. Until children reach the age of 12, they will have difficulty knowing why they feel a certain way. Help them out by describing what you hear and see. For example, you might say something like: “That must have been upsetting,” or “No wonder you felt mad when they wouldn’t let you in the game.”
Put a label on it. Many kids do not yet have words for their feelings. If your child seems angry or frustrated, use those feeling words to help your child learn to identify the emotions by name.
Help your child think of things to do. Suggest activities your child can do to feel better now and to solve the problem at hand. Other times the thing to do is to change the subject and move on to something more positive and relaxing. Don’t give the problem more attention than it deserves.
Just be there. Sometimes kids don’t feel like talking about what’s bothering them. It’s a good idea to respect that, give your child space. Even when kids don’t feel like talking, they usually don’t want parents to leave them alone. Isn’t it nice to know that your presence really counts?
Be patient. As a parent, it hurts to see your child unhappy or worried. But try to resist the urge to fix every problem. Instead, focus on helping your child, slowly but surely, grow into a good problem-solver—a kid who knows how to roll with life’s ups and downs, put feelings into words, calm down when needed, and bounce back to try again. Remember that you can’t fix everything, and that you won’t be there to solve each problem as your child goes through life. But by learning healthy coping strategies, your child can manage whatever stresses come in the future.
During upcoming guidance classes, students will be learning about their feelings and how to cope with them. The students learn that their feelings belong to them, whatever they may be: happy and excited, or frustrated and angry. They learn that they have a right to their own feelings, and also have a responsibility to handle those feelings in appropriate ways.
As parents, it can be difficult to know how to help our children handle these emotions in positive ways. Here are several strategies you can use, from “What Kid’s Say About: Handling Stress”, an article on www.KidsHealth.org:
Notice out loud. Tell your child when you notice something he or she might be feeling. (“It seems like you still feel mad about what happened at the playground”).
Listen to your child. Ask your child to tell you what’s wrong. Listen attentively and calmly—with interest, patience, openness, and caring. Avoid any urge to judge, blame, lecture, or tell your child what he or she should have done instead.
Comment briefly on the feelings you think your child was experiencing as you listen to the story. Until children reach the age of 12, they will have difficulty knowing why they feel a certain way. Help them out by describing what you hear and see. For example, you might say something like: “That must have been upsetting,” or “No wonder you felt mad when they wouldn’t let you in the game.”
Put a label on it. Many kids do not yet have words for their feelings. If your child seems angry or frustrated, use those feeling words to help your child learn to identify the emotions by name.
Help your child think of things to do. Suggest activities your child can do to feel better now and to solve the problem at hand. Other times the thing to do is to change the subject and move on to something more positive and relaxing. Don’t give the problem more attention than it deserves.
Just be there. Sometimes kids don’t feel like talking about what’s bothering them. It’s a good idea to respect that, give your child space. Even when kids don’t feel like talking, they usually don’t want parents to leave them alone. Isn’t it nice to know that your presence really counts?
Be patient. As a parent, it hurts to see your child unhappy or worried. But try to resist the urge to fix every problem. Instead, focus on helping your child, slowly but surely, grow into a good problem-solver—a kid who knows how to roll with life’s ups and downs, put feelings into words, calm down when needed, and bounce back to try again. Remember that you can’t fix everything, and that you won’t be there to solve each problem as your child goes through life. But by learning healthy coping strategies, your child can manage whatever stresses come in the future.